So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
