I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
