I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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