if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
