You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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