Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
