Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
