pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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