i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
