I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the condom got lost in my hair
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
