We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
