if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
my poor anus
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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