Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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