i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
