i jhust puked up my retainher.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
PANTIES FOUND
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