I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
