No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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