worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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