Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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