I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
