you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
