I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
