You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
