the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
