her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
