Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize