Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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