If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
