We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
