You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
