Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
