I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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