he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
being pregnant is like rehab
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
