dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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