just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
