You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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