Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize