He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
