I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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