Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
