Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
