How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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