how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
this boner is exhausting
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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