Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
