so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just high enough for therapy.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
