I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
