It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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