I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
