I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
