How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
