I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
