the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
