im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
