i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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