margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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